I been involved with plenty of screwy cases. You hang around with Toons long enough, screwy cases come with the territory. I can't remember any case more topsy turvy than this one.
I been hanging out here in Toontown for a couple of days now. Body guarding big time movie star Gary Cooper who's making a movie in T-Town call Hi, Toon! The flicker's an action/adventure buddy comedy co-starring Roger Rabbit. So I don't need to tell you that this is not gonna be high art. Unless your idea of culture is watching a bunch of bozos cracking wise and shooting each other with squirt guns.
During my investigation, I came to know a honey of a blonde. Honey Graham, that's her name. She's got more curves than the road into Laurel Canyon. Problem is, she's taken up with some bad company. Her boyfriend, a swine name of Willy Prosciutto.
Willy P controls the rackets in Toontown. And by that I don't mean the stupid ZOIKS, BONGS, WHOOPEES, and CLANGGGGS that Toons are always using for comic effect. I mean the real rackets. The illegal gambling, the drugs, the hootch, the money laundering. And the biggie. The murders.
Somebody cacked a clown in Toontown. They did it on my watch. I'm not letting anybody get away with that. Especially not a swine like Willy P.
What's worse, Willy P's been using his girlfriend Honey for a punching bag.
In my book, that's nearly as bad as murder.
I got info from a reliable source that Willy P's at The Slop House, one of Toontown's most famous eateries. For Thanksgiving, they specialize in the "All You Can Gobble Buffet."
|Toontown Crime Boss|
Willy Prosciutto Hogging Out At Thanksgiving.
Willy can gobble with the best. He's inside right now . I'm going in to talk turkey with him.
I'm gonna fry that pig's bacon.
Stick around. I'll let you know what happens.